Category: Stand Up


So I was at this BBQ at my boy’s house. We were all smoking up, drinking a few beers and waiting for the food to cook. Then one of the people who was there whipped out something form their bag. We all waited while they got everything ready to see what it was. Then we quickly realised that it was only of those bubble blowing things that kids get all excited over. We were quickly surrounded by bubbles and the conversation got flowing again. One of the guys all of a sudden got so excited and started taking really fast. He grabbed the bubble making thingy and too much anticipation and hype started trying to show us something. He said he practices every day to be able to do this. So we were all excited watching in anticipation. He then proceeded to blow the smallest bubble ever. At which point we all were all about to piss ourselves laughing. He then tried again and this time his attempt was a lot better and we forgave him. So what was he trying to do then, he was attempting to catch a bubble h blew back onto the plastic holder and try to blow it into another bubble and then catch it again and blow it into another bubble to make six bubbles inside each other. The most he managed that day was 3. But it was still impressive and you have to admire his perseverance. If he does manage it I promise to take a picture and put it one here.

Rollers Rights

The first rule of smokers ettiqette. Rollers rights. Rollers rights gives very special privilages to the lucky rollerit makes a mockery of the moans and groans heard when someone is asked to roll.

Firstly the rolers rights dictates that he person who rolled it is the one that has to spark up the joint. I would be very happy to be the first to smoke that this reason alone is amazing.

Secondly the roller as the one with the most experience of the joint having not only lit it up but also had the first took but also rolled it is the one who says if its a one puff pass or a two bun draw or a three hit.

Iv had much experience of rollers rights, but the best advice to give is to let the person with the best roll roll it. As nothing is more annoying than some complainig about your roll to your face when your sharing the joint with them.

Ok let me start off by saying I hate apple. So I recently bought an ipad. And let me continue by saying, I still hate apple. Ok back to the story. So ya I bought an ipad and the reason I bought it was work related. But the few things that stand out in all the ipad stories and commercials and friends experience.

The first is the story about the guy who spent his and his wife’s savings on an ipad when it first came out. So basically the wife comes home and is not impressed and all she says is “take it back”. So the guy had no choice but to take it back saying that his wife said no, and the store gave him a refund. So one of the senior managers of apple was going through the refund figures for the quarter and that particular case stuck out as the reason on the report was “wife said no”. He then decided to send it back with a sticky note saying apple says yes. The guy was so happy to be reunited with his beloved ipad and best of all he didn’t have to pay. So he obviously told all his friends and nothing spreads as fast as a happy customer. So that story is usually used as a motivational story about good customer service.

The second was a video clip sent to me by my father, and long before I bought the ipad I might add, that went viral. It’s the one about the oldish guy who is seen cutting some vegetables in the kitchen. Then we see him take the chopping board and rinse it before putting it in the dishwasher. That’s when his daughter or another person comes in and gets angry when they realise that it was an ipad he was using.

The third is actually a lot more personal to me, as it involves me, haha. So basically the other day I got on the tube and the guy opposite me was using his ipad to read the paper, and the guy next to him was playing temple run, and the guy next to me was skyping his friend saying where he was now that virgin has put free wifi on some of the tubes (only good thing to come out of the Olympics in terms of fixing tubes and buses). And best of all siting right next to me was a very pretty girl. So I promptly made a loud cheeky comment to get her attention about how obnoxious and what show offs thse guys were. As I slowly withdrew my own ipad from my bag. Then I said look at all the different uses for ipads but I am sure I have the best use of all. I then reached back into my bag to take out my grinder, roach paper, rizla and promptly proceeded to roll my joint on my leather encased ipad. I got her attention and she said she must agree with my statement. I asked her where she was going and if she wanted to smoke the joint with me to which her reply was an emphatic yes.

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